Let’s be honest. Rejection is never fun, but for most people, it hurts more than for others. That’s why the fear of being rejected holds so many fabulous women back from putting themselves out there or being open and vulnerable when dating. When you learn to reframe each rejection, things will shift massively and your soulmate manifestation process will be sped up because you will learn to surrender and trust the Universe for the best possible outcome. Learning to reframe rejection will not only make the biggest difference in your dating and love life but in your life in general.

Our brains are wired to respond to rejection as a painful experience because it all started far far back in the day when we were hunters & gatherers who lived in tribes. Back then, rejection was life-threatening. Since we could not survive on our own, being rejected from our tribe was pretty much a death sentence. Living in tribes was the only way to live, and everyone would contribute in their own way in order to provide and survive. Women were picking fruits and berries, while men were out hunting for meat. Everyone had their own role in their tribe, so if you were rejected from yours, how the hell would you survive? Humans were not independent back then and relied on the others in their tribe for survival. So the good news is, that these days, we don’t die from rejection! It’s not life-threatening anymore! You can get rejected a hundred times, and you will still survive. How liberating is that?

I would love to help you see rejection from a different perspective and help you overcome it, since it’s nothing to be afraid of and is, believe it or not, something positive! My three steps to reframing rejection can be applied in any area of life, not just dating and relationships. Get your journal out, because I have some valuable questions for ya!

STEP 1 | Change the meaning of the rejection

Every situation is neutral. It’s never “good” or “bad,” “positive” or “negative.” That is up to you to decide based on what perspective you look at it from. You can choose to either give it an empowering meaning or a disempowering meaning. It’s all in your hands, baby!

The rejection itself is not what leaves you traumatised or what affects you, it’s the meaning you attach to the situation, or to the rejection. For example, you might be super happy when your BFF’s f*ckboy breaks up with her, because you know that she deserves better. However, she is heartbroken and devastated, since she can’t see what you see. You have both attached a completely different meaning to the same situation.

We have been programmed to view rejection as something negative, but it’s based on what it meant for us thousands (or a million?!) years ago. So it’s time for you to reprogram your subconscious mind, because a lot of the time, a rejection is the best thing that could happen. YES, you heard me! The Universe has something way better in store for you which leads me to the next point!

STEP 2 | Find the positives in each rejection & trust that you are being redirected to something better

First of all, If you are getting rejected, you are doing something right. You are moving forward. If you never face a rejection, you are not getting out of your comfort zone enough. Or you are not being your true self. When we are our true selves, we are not everyone’s cup of tea. And that is okay! That’s how it should be. 

My favourite way to view rejections is to think of them as detours in the right direction.

Getting one step closer to the finish line of your goal. You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, right? Rejections are the Universe’s way of saying that there is someone better for you out there.  Remember that everything happens for a reason. There are no coincidences or accidents. If you surrender and trust the Universe, it will always work for your highest good. The Universe sees things that you can’t see yet. When you trust the Universe to 100%, you will be so effing calm and you will jump for joy with each rejection. The Universe just saved you a whole lotta time and energy! Better to know sooner rather than later. Thank you, NEXT!

I actually trained myself to always see the positives in each rejection. Every time someone ghosted me, broke things off, or just started to feel distant, I would be so grateful to the Universe for showing me the signs so early on. I used to create a “Rejection Gratitude List,” that stated what I’m grateful for about being rejected. It went something like this:

• I am so grateful that this rejection saved me a lot of time and energy. At least I know to remove myself from this person and cut him off!
• Thank you, Universe, for clearly showing me that there is someone better out there for me!
• Thank you, Universe, for helping me not to settle for less than I deserve and for supporting me in moving on to someone that appreciates, loves, and treasures me!
• Thank you, Universe, for seeing the bigger picture and what I’m not able to see yet, and doing me a big favour in redirecting me!
• Thank you, Universe, for teaching me [blank], and that I can now move forward being a wiser woman!

 

STEP 3 | Learn from the rejection

With every experience comes a lesson. Turn the rejection into an opportunity for self-growth, because with each time you feel rejected, you are able to grow stronger and discover something about yourself. 

I love this quote by Alan Cohen:

“It is not insult from another that causes you pain. It is the part of your mind that agrees with the insult. Agree only with the truth about you, and you are free.”

You will only feel the pain of rejection if you reject that part of yourself. That’s why it gives you an indication of what areas you need to give yourself that extra love. The only opinion that matters is your opinion about yourself. Don’t let rejection define you. Don’t let someone else’s inability to see your worth, affect your level of self-worth.