I was coming out of my longest relationship of 1 year, which I knew wasn’t long but I was starting to believe I just wasn’t “easy” to love. I felt that I was both too much in certain areas and not enough in others, and that no one would ever fully embrace me as I was.

“I had decided I’d only be with someone who could love me for all and everything that I am.”

We met at work but only started dating months later. He was with someone else beforehand so I didn’t even think I’d try anything, but they broke up and a month later he asked me out. Things went really well from the start, which surprised me, especially after I warned him about some things I do and that I am not willing to ever compromise on (I’m a burlesque performer, I do pole dancing and also nude modelling outside of my day job). I told him from the start because it wouldn’t have been fair for him not to know and I know it’s the kind of thing that makes a lot of men feel insecure, but since I had decided I’d only be with someone who could love me for all and everything that I am, being insecure about it would have been a deal breaker for me this time. Now with the whole coronavirus situation and being unable to see each other, things feel a bit more challenging but we are holding on.

What I would tell my younger self:

Unfortunately I can’t shield her for all the times her heart will be broken, but I will reassure her that she will heal every time and get stronger, more self-assured, and develop a big intolerance for bullshit. But that will only serve her in the future, because she will chose partners more wisely and she will find the right person (and even if maybe that’s not the guy I’m with now it’s okay, enjoy the good times, and if one day it’s over, it’s only so she can find a better match).

 “Enjoy the good times and if one day it’s over, it’s only so she can find a better match.”

 “Enjoy the good times and if one day it’s over, it’s only so she can find a better match.”

Anonymous, 26 | London, UK