I Always Ended Up With The Hardest Breakups

“Why was it so difficult for me? I know I’m an amazing girlfriend, so why did I always end up with the hardest, most heart-breaking relationships?”

Before I met my love, I was single a lot, but also had a couple of long-term relationships that were very challenging. These relationships were an important part of my path, as painful as they were because they helped me learn what I did and didn’t want in a partner. They helped me especially see what I deserved in a relationship, and what my love languages are. I was always lonely, whether I was in a relationship or not, feeling unfulfilled.

I constantly longed for that special person who I would be able to spend the rest of my life with. My heart ached for this person, and I did a lot of work with manifestation around love for many years. I tried to not let it control me, but my biggest fear is that it would be many many long and lonely years, or possibly never until I found my perfect match. Even though I was so young, I was always envious of those around me who seemed to have effortlessly found their perfect partner. Why was it so difficult for me? I know I’m an amazing girlfriend, so why did I always end up with the hardest, most heart-breaking relationships? I continued with my life despite these agonizing questions and fears; continuing to pray, manifest, and live my life as happily as possible.

Learning to love & understand myself, know my worth, being solid on my own path, and being happy for others love success were the secret keys to actualizing my truest love.

Funny thing about my partner is that we had met many years before we became a love item. We were introduced to each other back in 2015 through friends, and he and I were both just starting out in newly committed, long-term relationships with other people. There wasn’t that immediate spark between us or anything, because we had our eyes on our current partners.

We developed a pretty good friendship over the last several years. We hung out in the same circles, and he always made me laugh. However, I really only saw him as just my friend and nothing more, especially since he was always in a relationship, and other men had my attention.

Things ended up unfolding between us very unexpectedly, back in fall of 2018, when one night him and I were at a small show at a local bar with a few of our friends. We were dancing next to each other when all of the sudden, we made this special eye contact and I felt a rush of butterflies, and I know he felt the same by the look in his eyes. What a shock that was to feel for my friend! We flirted a little bit that night — awkwardly, and he even walked me back to my car. It felt very strange flirting with someone who was strictly a friend of mine for years, but it also felt so amazing.

After about a week of occasional texting, he ended up coming along with me to another show. We danced the whole night together, and at the end of the night he came to my house and we talked for hours. I felt like I’ve never laughed so hard with someone before. And he ended the night with a kiss — an awkward kiss. But again, it felt so right. From there, our love blossomed, and now we know we are truly meant to be. We have developed a solid friendship over many years, and that remains underneath all the love and romance. We understand each other so effortlessly, and he is my perfect match. A year and a half in, he was worth all of the wishing and waiting. It’s true what they say, sometimes the thing you want is right in front of you –all you have to do is open your eyes to see it.

A few things I would tell my younger self…

Don’t worry, Cameo, you have done all of the hard work, and you have survived the most challenging experiences that will lead you to your happiest destiny. You just have to keep on keepin’ on despite all of the fears. Keep healing yourself and loving yourself. Keep developing your business and creating your best life. Your love is closer and more obvious than you think, the timing just isn’t right. Let things work themselves out. You are blessed, and you will be aligned with him sooner and easier than you could have ever imagined. It will be so worth it!

“Keep healing yourself and loving yourself. Keep developing your business and creating your best life.”

Cameo, 27 | Phoenix, AZ, US

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