Finding Love After a Divorce & Unhealthy Relationship

My situation before I met my great love was: I had been married for about 19 years and then got divorced. Immediately after my divorce I entered into a relationship with an alcoholic. Unbeknownst to me, of course until we were well into the relationship and he let his guard slip. I spent a little over two years in this relationship trying to make it work, trying to “fix“ him. Me being an empath, I absorb other people’s energies and want to help them. 

Fast forward to the day I met my true love, it was January 1, 2016. We had actually gone to the same high school but I am a year ahead of him and never knew him because we had different circles of friends. I knew a lot of the people in his class. He found me on Facebook through a mutual friend and he saw one of my comments to her posts. He later told me that when he saw my picture he knew that I was “that girl“. He said that when we were in high school he used to watch me in the cafeteria and watch me walk in the halls. So he decided to send me a friend request and after I made sure he was legit, I accepted. At the time he was living in California and I was living here in New Jersey so I just thought I was making another friend. A month or two later he was visiting his family here in New Jersey and asked if we could meet up for a drink. I said, “sure“, because I saw it as an opportunity to meet someone new. Never once did romance enter my mind.

Well, we sat for three hours laughing and talking like we had known each other forever. We actually closed the place! I’m gonna be brave here and tell you what I did ( no judgment please 🙂 ). I have never done this before, but I was 48 years old and figured what the hell? I invited him back to my place and we had an amazing evening. The next day he flew back to California and little by little we got to know each other more and more. He asked me questions that no man had ever asked me before- I don’t even know if my ex-husband ever had. He wanted to know what my favorite color was, what flavor ice cream I like, what was the best childhood memory I ever had… The list goes on and on.

“My fears were that I wasn’t going to find my soulmate, the one who ‘got me.’”

When I met him like I said romance was not on my mind. I was casually dating someone I had met online but in truth, I was getting disillusioned and disgusted by the whole online dating thing. The men I met were either too eager to jump into something, sending me naked pictures of themselves, or just plain crazy and not in alignment with what I needed or was looking for. So I relaxed and went off all dating sites and then Eddie entered my life. My fears were that I wasn’t going to find my soulmate, the one who “got me.”

So fast forward, in the context of keeping the story kind of short, about three years after we had met we knew that we did not want to live without the other person. During that time we were flying back-and-forth between the East and West Coast to see each other. His children were pretty much grown by that time and my children were not. Being divorced, I couldn’t just uproot them and moved to the West Coast. So Eddie made the brave decision to move back to New Jersey, something he said he would never do! About a month after he moved here he proposed! We drove to our favorite beach and there were some beautiful stars in the sky that night…he kept pointing up to the sky and saying “look at that shooting star.” I could not see any shooting stars. Little did I know that the box that contained the engagement ring lit up when you opened it. So he opened up the box, waved it over his head and said look at that shooting star! And then he asked me to marry him. He has been living here for almost 2 years and when my younger son graduates from high school in about five years we are planning on moving back to California. 

If I could give some words of advice to my younger self, I would’ve told myself:

Never to get married to my ex-husband. Ha ha. But then I would not have my beautiful children. So my next words of advice to my younger self would be: take time to know and love yourself. Take time to get to know yourself. Spend alone time, meditate, go for walks, do whatever you need to do to connect with the amazing woman that you really are. 

…because when you truly love yourself you will open yourself up to the universe and the universe will bring your true partner to you.

Sue | Jackson, NJ, US

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Submit Your Love Story

Do you have a beautiful love story you would like to share ? 

I would love to hear from you! I am passionate about helping women open their eyes to all the incredible things that are possible for them.