Sex, Self-Worth, Boundaries & Embodying the Queen

Hi my loves, I wanted to share with you a few key take-backs from my conversation with Asti Maree… A woman who turns high-achieving women into sensual and desirable goddesses so they can manifest confidence, desirability, passion and a turn-on for life!

Love and Lust, and how we mistake it.

Love is one of our fundamental human needs. Love, Safety and belonging are our 3 core needs. When you don’t have a sense of self-love that comes from within, you then disregard any warning signs that maybe ‘he’s not right for you’. You will block out your intuition to chase the lust, in hope that it will give you that tiny bit of love. Lust provides only short-term pleasure, but it does not connect on a soul level. When you have a deep sense of self-love that comes from within, you will never need to find love in external sources.

When is a good time to have sex with someone new?

It is so important to have a good break between relationships. If you have just ended things with someone it is so so important to come back and connect with yourself and your own self-worth and get really clear what it is that you want from a new relationship, before you go out and focus on getting a new one. When you go out into the world knowing that you are a total Queen, you end up saying ‘does this person deserve me?’ rather than ‘someone please love me’. If you are not embodied in a sense of worth and you are allowing other people to determine your worth with your ability to please them, you hand yourself over to have sex with someone because you want to please them and not reject them.

When you are embodying a total queen, you remain secure within yourself and will continue to be the best version of yourself, even if you have to turn someone down. You have to trust that the right person will stay.

Tips for increasing yourself worth and not letting others determine it for you.

Really tap into the embodiment of being a Queen. How does the energy feel in your body? We all hold this energy in us to some degree, so really tap into that and feel yourself come alive as this most empowered, worthy and confident version of yourself and really let that sink in, anchor in and know what it feels like. Notice your ability to hold your energy, to see if you can let other people’s energy come in, without affecting your ‘queendom’ and if you can let that energy go and still be yourself. The way that you show up is going to be mirrored back to you. Re-embodying a sense of worthiness, re-writes your story.

Change Yourself.

It’s easier to change yourself than to change the entire population of men. If you change yourself, then right men will come to you. In order to change anything outside of ourselves, we must first change within. Whatever you believe about yourself, that’s how you are going to behave and whatever you believe about other people is what you are going to attract. At Tony Robbins, he told us, ‘look around the room and notice how much red you see, then close your eyes’. ‘Now tell me, how much blue did you see?’. And no-one could answer because everyone is only focusing on the red. This concept is so true for so many aspects in life, for example if you are only noticing the f*ckboys in life (the red) then you aren’t going to see the good guys (the blue).

When you know what you want, you know what boundaries you need to put in place to support getting those wants. Write the list, get clarity and become more aware of it. Remain embodied in your worth, turn the wrong people down, and feel amazing about it. Because turning the wrong people down you are one step closer to meeting your ideal man.

Timing is important

Trust in the universe and trust in the timing. If he shows up and you don’t have the space in your life to welcome him, it’s not going to work. Everything just has to fall into place in the divine time, you can’t rush that.


Disconnect from everything. Allow yourself the time and the place to up level your internal world, and then go out into the world and see how you’re met. You owe it to yourself. Stay single, don’t sleep around. Take all that energy and that time and use it on yourself. Fill yourself up.


When women orgasm, the same hormones are released that are associated with child birth. So, you want to make sure you have those attachment vibes with someone that you actually want to be with. Would you give your phone password to someone you’ve only know for a month? Then why would you give your body to them if you wouldn’t even give your phone password? Just something to think about.

How to know if it’s right to have sex with a new guy

A lot of women might sleep with a guy, hoping that it will go long term. But if you take a step back and say, if I have sex with him right now and I know it’s not going to be long term, would I still be okay with that? If it’s a yes, then go for it. If it’s a no, then you know it’s not the right move for you. If you’re not okay with it being a one-night thing then you have to wait until you are certain it is going somewhere.

Vibrate at your frequency of worth

If you’re not willing to take yourself out to a 5-star restaurant and splurge and treat yourself, then no-one else is going to. In doing so, and doing it for yourself, you vibrate at that frequency of worth, you embody that worth, through the way that you treat yourself and then other people can reflect that back to you. You don’t want to rely on someone else for those feelings, they need to come from within.

If you want to connect with more of this work, check out Asti Maree’s FREE E-Book and her amazing retreat: Boujee Ass Bitches Luxury Immersion and give her a follow on Instagram

Want to hear more about sex, self-worth, boundaries and embodying the queen?

Listen to my podcast Sex, Self-Worth, Boundaries and Embodying the Queen with Asti Maree!

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